Jokes about doctors

Joke.1

The gynecologist and the examination of a patient

A gynecologist examines a female patient and tells her:

- Madam, I must admit that I have never seen something so big, so big, so big ...

- No need to repeat doctor.

- I'm not repeating, it's the echoes!

Joke.2

Meeting at an animal fair

Three men meet at an animal fair.

The first: - I love animals and I see them every day.

The second and third, at the same time: - It's all the same!

The first: - I am a veterinarian! You too ?

The second: - No, I'm a butcher ...

The third: - And I am a zoophile ...

Joke.3

A blind man and a doctor

A young blind man said to his old doctor:

- Today is my birthday. Do you have any good news for me?

- Take this cream and tomorrow you will no longer be blind.

- Really ?? Thank you very much doctor!

The next morning, the youngster runs to the doctor in tears and hastens to say:

- It did not work !

- April Fool…

Joke.4

A couple in the bedroom

A couple has just gone to bed. The man said to his wife:

- I really want to have sex.

- No. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the gynecologist and I want to stay fresh.

Fifteen minutes later, the man recidivates:

- I really, really want to have sex.

- I told you no. I have an appointment with the gynecologist tomorrow!

Then the woman turns off the light. In the dark, her husband said to her:

- Yes, but tomorrow you haven't made an appointment with the dentist.

Joke.5

The doctor and life expectancy

A man consults his doctor, who says:

- Oh my god Mr. Vincent !! You only have 5 to live !!

- 5 what ??? 5 years ? 5 months ? 5 days ?

- 4… 3… 2… 1… 0… Bye bye Mr. Vincent…

Joke.6

The Jew and the Dentist

A Jewish couple go to the dentist. In the waiting room, the husband announces to his wife that he will come before her because he won't be very long. When his turn arrives, the husband sits in the chair and asks the dentist:

- How much does it cost to remove a molar with complete anesthesia?

- It takes 100 euros.

- Too expensive ! And with local anesthesia?

- In this case, 50 euros.

- Ok. And without anesthesia, using only the forceps?

- It will be 40 euros ...

- Ok, we'll do it like that then.

The Jew gets up, returns to the waiting room and says to his wife:

- You can come honey. Now it's your turn.

Joke.7

The Scotsman and the Dentist

A Scottish couple go to the dentist. In the waiting room, the husband announces to his wife that he will come before her because he won't be very long. When his turn arrives, the husband sits in the chair and asks the dentist:

- How much does it cost to remove a molar with complete anesthesia?

- It takes 100 pounds.

- Too expensive ! And with local anesthesia?

- In this case, 50 pounds.

- Ok. And without anesthesia, using only the forceps?

- It will be 40 pounds ...

- Ok, we'll do it like that then.

The Scottish man gets up from the chair, returns to the waiting room and says to his wife:

- You can come my darling. Now it's your turn.

Joke.8

Program of a medical congress

Program of a congress of doctors:

- 8:30 am: Alcohol and blood

- 9:30 am: Alcohol and the liver

- 10:30 am: Alcohol and the pancreas

- 11:30 am: Alcohol and the heart

- 12:30 p.m .: Opening of the bar

- 3:30 p.m .: Alcoholism

Joke.9

Two alcoholics in a bar

Two drunk guys are chatting in a bar:

- Rah !! I really have a shitty job!

- Ha good, what are you doing?

- I deliver pizzas. All day long, I see them, I smell them, and I can't even eat them!

- I understand you ! It's the same for me !

- Are you a pizza delivery guy too?

- No, I'm a gynecologist.

Joke.10

Rugby and gynecologist

After examination, a gynecologist said to his patient:

- I noticed that you had a tattoo on the inside of each thigh: Michalak on the left one and Dusautoir on the right one.

- Indeed, I am a fan of rugby.

- May I give them a kiss to bring good luck to the French team?

- Yes of course.

The gynecologist does, then gets up. The woman says:

- And in Chabal, we don't give him a little kiss?>