Skip to main content

Jokes about politics

 Jokes about politics


Joke.1

A man dies then finds himself facing Saint Peter. The latter said to him
- I welcome you to the gate of paradise.
Dubitative, the man sees clocks located behind St Pierre.
 Why are there St Peter's clocks?
 It's simple my boy. As soon as a person is born, a clock appears, and as soon as he says or does something stupid, the hands start to turn.
 Oh good, and where is Sarkozy's?
 She's in my room, I use her as a fan.

Joke.2

Donald Trump consults a clairvoyant: The very concentrated clairvoyant closes her eyes and says to her:
- I see you passing in a big avenue, in a car, the open roof, the people in jubilation.
Trump smiles and asks him:
- So the crowd is happy?
- Yes like never.
- What about the people running after the car?
- Yes, around the car, like crazy. The police are struggling to find their way.
- People carrying flags?
- Yes, flags and banners of America with words of hope and a better future.
- Really ? And the people are screaming, singing?
- Yes people are shouting phrases of hope: "Oh! Now everything will be better !!!"
- And me, how do I react to all this?
- I can't see it.
- Why ?
- The coffin is closed.

Joke.3

On a beautiful summer morning, Soviet No. 1 opens his office window. The sun rises radiant on the roofs of Moscow and the N ° 1 gives him joyfully:
- Hello, Comrade Sun!

So the sun respectfully:
- Hello, Comrade Secretary General of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union, President of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet, Marshal of the Soviet Union!

Happy and flattered, N ° 1 settles down at his desk, immerses himself in files, receives ambassadors and senior officials, etc. At noon, N ° 1 salutes the sun again at its Zenith:
- Hello Comrade Soleil!
- Hello, Comrade Secretary General of the C. C. du P. C. U. S., President of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet, Marshal of the Soviet Union!

The very happy N ° 1 eats lunch, takes a nap, immerses himself in files, receives ministers and ambassadors, etc. Evening at sunset in all its splendor:
- Good evening, Comrade Soleil!
- Fuck you, big ass, I just went West!

Joke.4

The pen has just died and he presents himself at the gate of heaven:
- Are you kidding? Saint Peter said to him. You claim to enter paradise? But get the hell out of here, miserable! Go, ouste, to hell!
The next day, Saint Peter is awakened by a hubbub at the gate of paradise. He opens and comes face to face with a crowd of demons, damned and imps ...
- But what are you doing here? Does he exclaim? Why are you not in hell?
- We're coming to seek asylum! Explains a devil. We left hell, while we could still do it!

Joke.5

The new French unit of measure. Un are = 100 m²
A guaymare = 600 m²

Joke.6

It is a presidential candidate who begins his campaign and decides to start with a tour of retirement homes.
He arrives in the park of one of those charming houses where one abandons his parents and grandparents in the name of the most elementary Malthusian, and launches into a great session of handshakes. And he arrives in front of a very shabby little granny, to whom he waves in front of photographers who passed by chance, and to whom he says:
- Are you okay ma'am? Are you well taken care of here?
- Yes yes, no problem, my good sir. Everything is fine...
- And you know who I am?
- No, but do like me, go to the reception desk, they will tell you ...
 

Joke.7

Ideas

 - I don't vote people, I vote ideas! - How about I give you a million euros? - Well, I would vote for anyone, because the idea is not that bad

Joke.8

Funeral

 A local politician died and a friend sought funds for his funeral. A woman was invited to donate ten euros. "Ten euros ?" she says. "You only need ten euros to bury a politician? Here is a hundred euros: bury 10!"
 

Joke.9

Brains

 A man walks into a brain dealer and says, "Why are you selling Albert Einstein's brain for less than Donald Trump's?" The merchant replies: "Because Donald Trump's has never been used."

Joke.10

Doctor

 François Hollande consults his doctor: - Doctor, I have mental diarrhea. - What do you mean ? - Every time I have an idea, it's crap!
Tags

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular Posts

10 little puzzles or riddles

                         The first puzzles known to mankind appeared in Babylon, and to this day they still represent a great opportunity to spend time with friends in order to test each other's skills and reasoning. Riddles are not only fun, but also useful for everyone, for example, they improve children's vocabulary and maintain the memory of the elderly in order to avoid dementia. Trendingfungala invites you to come together with all your family and friends to try to solve the puzzles that follow!                                                                 1. Which door is the safest? One fine morning, a little girl named Marie finds herself trapped in an old castle. She quickly finds herself in front of four doors, only one of which leads to freedom. As she opens each of the doors, she discovers what each one hides: The first leads to a ground of molten lava that would immediately melt anything. The second contains a killer clown who would beat to death anyone in front
1 comment
Read more

School Jokes

School Jokes 1. What is the difference between a teacher and a thermometer?  Any. We tremble when they mark "0"! 2. I decided not to go to school anymore, announces a little boy to his mother.  In what honor ?  On the news bulletin, they said that someone had been shot in Italy because he knew too much. 3 .Martin's teacher asks:  Martin, do you know the difference between the sun and your math homework?  No sir.  Well, the sun is a star ... and your duty is a disaster! 4 .At school, the teacher returns the copies and takes said to one of his students:  Come on, my little Antoine, admit that your father helped you do this homework!  Not at all, Messieurs, I swear it to you ... - It's true, are you sure?  Yes, I'm sure. He did it on his own. 5 .In class a student raises his finger, the teacher who thought he was going to give him an answer gives him the floor.  Sir, the fly of your pants is open! The very embarrassed teacher closes it and decides to call out to the
Post a Comment
Read more

It's a kind of funny story

  The Unfinished Symphony A company president receives as a gift an entrance ticket for a performance of Schubert's Unfinished Symphony given as part of the music festival in the village where the group's main factory is located. Not having any desire to go to the provinces, and no member of the management wishing to go there, he remembers that the head of the organization department was carrying out a mission in the factory all that week. He asks her to represent him there. The following Monday, the president receives the following report: Mister President, I have carefully observed the work of the orchestra performing the unfinished symphony as you had invited me to. Here are the remarks I could give you. For considerable intervals, the four oboe players stood idly by. One should reduce their number and distribute their work over the entire symphony, so as to eliminate peak periods. The twelve violins were in unison, they all played the same notes at the same time. This dupli
Post a Comment
Read more