Dentist Jokes

1.Doctor! I broke my tooth with the bean of the pancake ...

Since you are the king I will crown her!

2. A patient apologizes: "Forgive me, I did not brush my teeth ..."

Response from the practitioner: "It doesn't matter, I didn't wash my hands ..."

3. My teeth hurt so much that I can only chew soup.

4. My husband suffers from a sedentary abscess!

5. A young patient wants to keep her CD player. I ask her what she is listening to.

"Pulp fiction" she replies!

6. Doctor, I would rather have a child than have a tooth pulled out ...

No problem, Madame, just the position of the chair to change!

7.I'll take the tooth out. If I hurt you cry out loud.

Will it be that painful?

No, but there are 10 people in the waiting room, and I don't want to miss the game!

8. If you don't follow my prescriptions you will lose all your teeth.

So what?

Then you will bite your fingers!

9. Yesterday I went out with a dentist, we ended up at his place!

So how was it?

He's a good dentist: I didn't feel anything ...

10. But all your teeth are gold!

Yes, it's to set an alarm.

11. What do you recommend for yellow teeth?

How about a brown tie ...

12. Doctor, my toothache is so bad that I haven't slept all night.

What is your job?

Nightwatchman!

I brush my teeth with ammoniacal CIF because it does not scratch the enamel.

13. A lady only has tartar on one side. I ask her which side she eats.

Often at Mac 'Do she answers me!

I did take the "Côtes du Rhône" aspirin and the ultra yeast for my intestinal fauna.

Before coming to your place, we used ourselves at Dr D ...

I still have pain despite the prescribed enemas.

My gums are red because I am anxious when I come to your house.

14.To a winegrower:

- Are you in pain?

- No, I sulfate!

I had a planetary radio made, you know, the one where you see all the teeth.

I look after a difficult little boy. Customers crowd into the waiting room.

The mother must come after. Suddenly she said to me: "You can jump me ...

Yes, I will come back another time, if it suits you. "

15. Two elderly sisters consult me. While treating the second I say to the first:

“Your sister is not at ease, she has less confidence than you. "

She replies: “Already she has no mutual insurance. "

16. My wife died three months ago, take your dentures back, hers is like new, you gave her two years ago and in the end she was not eating anymore.

17.A lady: "I hate that you put your tool in my mouth ... (speaking of the forceps!).

- But Madame, I am a dentist, where do you want ... "

Impression taking with silicones. The practitioner asks a lady to actively cooperate: do with your tongue what I do with my finger. You will stop when it gets tough. Better a soundproof cabinet to avoid any false interpretation in the waiting room ...

18. A couple goes to a dentist and the man, a vigorous fellow, asks the secretary if they can be taken immediately.

The secretary disappears for two minutes, then signals to the couple that they can return to the office.

The man immediately clarified:

- We're in a bit of a hurry if you can do it quickly ... It's a simple operation, you have to remove a tooth. It's almost nothing. No need for injections to put the gum to sleep. I want it to be fast and not to cost a lot!

- Well say so, replies to the dentist, if everyone had so many guts coming to my house ...

And what is the tooth to be extracted?

The man turns around and says:

- Sweetheart? You show him your tooth ...

19. Thierry and a woman meet in a bar.

They chat a bit and then as it happens in life, they decide to go to the woman's house.

After a few drinks, Thierry takes off his shirt and washes his hands.

Then he takes off his pants and washes his hands again.

The woman who watched all this ritual said to her:

"I bet you're a dentist."

He, very surprised, answers:

"Yes .... but how did you guess?"

"It's simple," she replies, "you just wash your hands."

After a while they start to have sex and when they have

finished, she says:

"You must be a damn good dentist."

He, beaming after such a compliment to his ego, replies:

"Of course I'm an excellent dentist, how did you know that?"

She, with an unruffled face, "I didn't feel anything!"

20.what is the difference between a dentist and a teacher?

the dentist tells you to open your mouth and the teacher to close it

 

21. The Doctor -

He's a guy going to the dentist, and he says to him:

- Listen, I have good news and bad news for you.

So the guy answers him:

- Start with the wrong one, please.

- I have to remove four teeth from you!

- Shit, and what's the good news then?

- All the other teeth are so bad they will fall out on their own, and it won't cost you a dime!

22.  Adults - Doctor -

It's a woman going to the dentist. When

the dentist approaches the chair to start his work,

she grabs his testicles through her clothes! The

dentist said to him:

- Wow! Madam, you are shaking my parts ...

The woman replies:

- Yes. And now we're going to be careful and try to

not hurt us, neither one nor the other. Okay?

23. Avarice - Doctor -

At the dentist :

- Doctor, how much will it cost me to have this removed

tooth?

- 900 Francs

- 900 F for a few minutes of work! Ben, you

do not fuck tell me.

- I can extract it very slowly if you prefer.

24. Dirty -

A car misses its turn and crashes into a tree. The man gets out of the vehicle, and realizes that only his dentures are broken. He explains this to the person who came to help him, and who luckily offers him one from the lot he has in his car. He tries a dozen and finds one that suits him.

- In my misfortune he said, I'm still lucky to come across a dentist.

- I'm not a dentist, I'm an undertaker.

25. Dark humor - Doctor -

A man and his wife arrive at the dentist.

The man said to the dentist:

"Look, I'm in a really big rush. I have two friends in my car waiting for us to go golfing. So you forget the anesthesia and just pull the tooth out. We've got the course for 10 am and it's 9:30 am I don't have time to wait for the anesthesia to take effect. "

The dentist cannot get overseeing such a brave man. He then asks that she is the tooth to be pulled.

The man then turns to his wife and says:

"Go on honey, open your mouth and show the doctor"