Funny Stories

Feel like laughing? Check out our selection of the best Funny stories of 2020. The best of Funny Short stories are here!

1. I had a vasectomy to keep my wife from getting pregnant.

But it only changes the color of the baby

A lady's husband died almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling him to return to the dating world. Finally, she said she would go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom, I have someone to meet you!" "

Well, that was an immediate hit.

They got caught up in each other and after dating for six weeks he asked her to join him for a weekend in Spain.

Their first night there, she undressed like him.

There she was standing naked except for a pair of black panties, him in his birthday suit.

Looking at her, he asked, "Why the black panties?" "

She replied, "My breasts you can caress, my body is yours to explore, but there I am still in mourning. "

He knew he wasn't going to be lucky that night.

The next night was the same, she was there wearing the black panties and he was in his birthday suit but now he was wearing a black condom.

She looked at him and asked, "What's up with the black condom? "

He replied, “I want to offer my deepest condolences. "

2."Talking Dog For Sale". 

 A guy sees a sign outside a house that reads "Talking Dog For Sale". Puzzled, he enters.

"So what have you done with your life? He asks the dog.

"I have led a busy life," explains the dog. “I lived in the Alps to rescue avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to residents of a nursing home. "

The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog owner, "Why on earth would you want to get rid of an amazing dog like that?" "

The owner says, "Because he's a liar! He never did any of that! "

3.The dog who does karate

A gentleman invited his old friend to play cards at home.

He asks her: So, have you seen my new dog? he is cute eh? I bought him on my last trip to Japan and he does karate too! What? Karate?

Eh yes! I'll give you a demonstration. So he places a chair in front of the dog and shouts: “KARATE CHAIR !! »The dog jumps on the chair and destroys it! The chair is reduced to matches. " Unbelievable! Said the buddy.

"Wait, it's not over ..." He places the cushion of the chair in front of the dog and shouts: "KARATE CUSHION !! »The dog jumps on the cushion and destroys it! The feathers are flying everywhere ... oh my boyfriend can't get over it.

At this point, the third buddy who always late shows up: "What the hell happened here"? The other guest buddy who still couldn't believe what he saw said, "You should have seen this!" Her dog does karate!

That's it yeah "karate my ass !! "

4. A guy sits in a movie theater and notices that the man in front of him has brought his dog with him.

A guy sits in a movie theater and notices that the man across from him has brought his dog and he's sitting in the seat next to him.

He thinks it's unusual, but he loves dogs, so he decides that until it's a distraction, he won't mention it.

The movie starts and soon there is a funny part. The dog makes low woofing sounds that sound like laughter. In a little while, there is a sad part and the dog seems to be crying. This continues throughout the film and the man sitting behind the dog is stunned.

When the lights come on, he pats the dog owner on the shoulder and says, “I have to say, and I know it sounds weird, but it looked like your dog enjoyed this movie. "

The dog owner looks at the dog and nods. “I know, it's really weird,” he said, “because he hated the book. "

5. A German, a Japanese and a chti sit naked in a sauna

Suddenly, a beep sounds. The German squeezed his forearm and the beeping stopped. The others looked at her questioningly.

“It was my pager,” he said. “I have a microchip implanted under the skin of my arm. "

A few minutes later, a phone rang. The Japanese raised his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, “It was my cell phone. I have a microchip in my hand. "

The chti felt decidedly low tech. Not to be outdone, he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He got out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. He came back with a piece of paper hanging behind him. The others raised their eyebrows and looked at him.

The Chti finally said, “Well look at this, I got a FAX. "😻😲😉