Newest Jokes

1.Three Indians and three Cowboys are going to take the train to a convention. At the station, the three Whites buy one ticket each, while the three Indians buy a single ticket.

- How can three guys travel on one ticket, asks one of the Cowboys?

- Look, and you will see, answers one of the Indians!

They all get on the train. The three Cowboys take their respective places, but the three Indians crowd into the toilet and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train left, the controller came by to check the tickets. He bangs on the bathroom door and says, “Ticket please!”. The door opens slightly and only one hand comes out with the note. The ticket inspector checks the ticket and leaves.

The Cowboys have seen it all, they agree it's a really good idea.

So, after the congress, the three whites decide to do the same as the Indians for the return trip, which will allow them to save some money. At the station ticket office they buy a single ticket. To their astonishment, the three Indians do not buy a ticket.

- How are you going to travel without a ticket, said one of the white people, puzzled?

- Look, and you will see, answers one of the Indians!

When they get on the train, the three Cowboys congregate in a washroom and the three Indians in another next door. Shortly after the train has started, one of the Indians comes out and goes to the toilet where the three Cowboys are hidden. They knock on the door and say:

"Ticket, please!"

2.Do you know why Indians are so not very expansive?

It's because they live on the reserve!

3.A newlywed couple, a cowboy and his country girl, go on a honeymoon trip together on the cowboy's horse. Under the weight, the horse stumbles and breaks its nose on the ground with its two passengers. The cowboy gets up, looks the horse in the eye and furious says:

"ONCE !"

They leave, the horse falls again. The cowboy shakes off the dust and says to the horse:

"TWICE !"

They resume their journey and the horse breaks its face again. The cowboy takes out his colt and lodges a bullet between the poor animal's two eyes. The horrified woman yells at him:

"But hey darling! It's a shame what you just did! That poor beast!"

And the cowboy staring his wife in the eye:

"ONCE ! "

4.Three hunters go hunting in the hills of Wyoming. There's Cowboy Ned, Cheyenne Two Bears, and Trapper Colton. In the evening, after a day of hunting, they all meet in front of a good fire. So the Indian asks Colton:

- What did you hunt today?

"I hunted three bison and four wolves," the trapper answers modestly.

Colton in turn asks:

- And you Ned, what did you hunt?

"I hunted at least ten bison, six wolves and three deer," Ned says proudly!

Then Ned and Colton turn to Two Bears and ask:

- And you the Indian, what did you hunt?

The Indian answers:

- I have chased 50 pasnous.

- What are we not, asks Ned?

- They are people who live in houses and who say: "not us, not us!" "

 5.Mike, who has fallen in love with beautiful Peggy, is visiting his girlfriend's parents for the first time. He wants to make a good impression, but the Chili Con Carne of the day before makes his own and his intestines remind him of him every five minutes. Mike, is the focus of the whole family and makes a pretty good impression. Only then that gas is announced and the pain is such that he can only adopt the emergency solution absolute control of his abdominals and his buttocks muscles to slam a silencer into the cushions of the chair. He struggles with all his might and ends up accomplishing his mission.

But now there is a sort of aura floating around him that does not bode well for his future as a potential son-in-law. The owner of the place cannot help but notice the nauseating odor which spreads in the room and shouts: “Medor! "

Indeed, at the feet of the suitor is a dog responding to the sweet name of Medor.

Phew, our relieved hero said to himself, he's the one who takes it! "

He said to himself that after all, since it is the dog who takes it, he might as well take advantage of it, especially since the next one promises to be ferocious. As a virtuoso, the second is released with as much discretion as the first and the smell is more and more present.

“Medor, yells the father !! "

Too bad for poor Médor, Mike royally drops the third. Exasperated, the father gets up and yells:

“Medor! Get out of there: this guy will piss you off! 

6.An Indian just bought a new car with her savings. She asks her boyfriend to go behind the car and check that the turn signals are working.

“So are they walking,” asks the Indian? "

The Indian answers:

"Yes… No… Yes… No…"

7.It's a woman who goes to the police to report her husband's disappearance.

- My husband hasn't been home for two days, I'm worried ...

The commissioner turns to his inspector, handing him the photo his wife brought:

-You will immediately go looking for him!

The inspector asks if there is a message to pass on to her husband in case he finds him. The woman hesitates and says:

- Yes. Tell her that my mother won't be coming for the holidays after all ...

8.A Native American dad brings his son to the shore of a large lake to introduce him to fishing.

“Father, what's your secret to choosing fishing spots,” asks the son?

- Very simple, answers the father. Do you see the two fish-eating birds that are on the lake? So you stand in front and there is no problem. The place is good.

- Thank you father! "

And on the lake, two birds approach. The bird son asks his father:

"Father, what's your secret to choosing fishing spots?"

- Very simple, answers the father. Do you see the two fish-eating Amerindians who are on the earth? So you stand in front and there is no problem. The place is good ... "

9.Cheval Blanc and his son, Petit Nuage, came to New York for the first time, with Grosse Couverture, wife and mother of the previous two. While Big Blanket is shopping, the father and son enter a building, and stop in front of elevators. They had never seen one before.

They watch a very strong woman get into one of them and say to the elevator attendant:

"14th floor, please ..."

When the elevator comes down a few moments later, a young and pretty blonde comes down. Cheval Blanc turns to Petit Nuage and says:

"Go get your mother!" "

10.During the conquest of the West, an immigrant family settled on Colorado land. As the area is not very safe, the man decides to install a big bell in front of the house. Then he said to his wife:

- If something serious happens while I am in the fields plowing, ring the bell very loudly, and I will run immediately.

The next day, while he is plowing, he hears the bell and comes running ... His wife says to him:

- I called you because the kids were really unbearable. They don't stop bickering!

- What you made me run more than two terminals just for that! But you're crazy!

A few days later, rebelote. The bell rings, the farmer rushes up. Out of breath, he sees his wife crying, in front of her burnt blackberry pie.

- Damn it ! You want my skin or what he said angry to his wife. I said serious things. I warn you if you call me again for bullshit, it's going to be bad!

The next day the bell rings again. This time again he returns to the farm in fourth gear. When he arrives, the mother-in-law is dead, planted on the porch, pierced by a spear, the farm is on fire, the animals have all died from arrows and from the mule only the bones remain. .

Contemplating the carnage, the farmer says:

- And there you go! Okay ...s