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Christmas Jokes

 Christmas jokes



1. Do you know the Christmas joke?

She smells of the tree.


2. Do you know the Christmas joke?

Ask my mother.


3. What do you call a cat that fell into a paint pot on Christmas Day?

A Christmas painted cat


4. Do you know the Christmas joke?

It's a turkey story.


5. Do you know the scary Christmas joke?

Attention you will have the balls.


6. Mr. and Mrs. Duciel have five children, what are their names?

Betty, Baba, Noël, Quentin, Sandra.


7. What is the favorite city of Santa's animals?

Rennes.

(Lol)😛😛


8. Who is it forbidden to spend Christmas with?

With your class. Because Christmas is Santa class.


9. What is the difference between a tree and you?

The fir tree is a conifer and you are stupid but there is nothing we can do about it.


10. What is the favorite case of psychoanalysts at Christmas?

Do. The case Do.


 


11. What do prostitutes sing at Christmas?

“My beautiful tapiiin, king of the forests. "


12. Monsieur and Madame Rlande have a son, what's his name?

Mistletoe.


13. Monsieur and Monsieur D'hiver, who goes whistling and blowing in the big green fir trees, have two sons, what are their names?

Yves and Ivan.


14. What does a Christmas tree say that arrives late on New Year's Eve?

“I'm going to get shouted out again. "


15. What to say when we drink a toast at Christmas?

Santa! But not arms!


(I had a stroke from laughing)😃😄


16. Your mother is so fat that she will eat all the foie gras.

That's not even a joke, it's just an insult but balek is the spirit of Christmas.


17. Why is Santa Claus in prison?

Because in accordance with article 226-4 of the Penal Code, “the introduction or maintenance in the home of others by means of maneuvers, threats, assault or coercion, except in cases where the law allows it , is punished by one year's imprisonment and a fine of 15,000 euros. "

18.Santa Claus in Ethiopia:

Like every year, Father Noel does not forget the poor countries and arrives in Ethiopia. With his great host, he approaches the little children and asks them:

Children, why do you have a swollen belly?

This is because we do not eat anything answer all children.

And Father Noel answers:

That’s not good for children; If you don't want to eat, you won't get any presents this year!

19.The Santa Claus dilemma:

On Christmas night, Santa Claus comes down by the fireplace and arrives in a room. In the bed a beautiful naked young woman is lying.

Santa hesitates:

Either I let myself be tempted and I no longer showed up to heaven, or I resist, and I no longer go up the chimney ... 

20.Christmas shopping:

In court at the start of the year, the judge asks:

Accused, what do you blame for?

The accused replies:

I am accused of having made my Christmas shopping too early!

The judge :

How's that too early; It is not forbidden …

The accused:

Too early, that is, before the store opens ...

21.Christmas card :

Two girlfriends discuss:

Me, my husband sent me a nice Christmas card.

His girlfriend answers him:

Well me, my husband sent me lots of Christmas cards: A visa card, a master card, an American Express card ...

22.Christmas Blonde:

A blonde decides to go get a Christmas tree in a forest herself.

She searches for hours, and exhausted, she ends up saying to herself:

Well, too bad, even if I find a tree without a ball, I take it anyway ...

23.Christmas cake :

What is the hardest cake in the world called?

Answer: The Yule log!

24.A car for Christmas:

A wife wishing to have a sports car as a Christmas present leaves a note to her husband:

Honey, I want something for Christmas that goes from zero to 100 in seconds.

And she receives as a Christmas present, a scale weighs no one!

25.Funny Christmas party:

Two friends are discussing:

- So how did you spend Christmas?

- How a gift ...

- What do you mean ?

- I spent Christmas drunk under the tree!😋😋

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